Wednesday, April 01, 2009

"Yes"es and "No"s; more ramblin' on


Several mentors/teachers in my life have paved the way for me to say "yes" more. The book Jump Into Life, by Arnaud Desjardin was a big inspiration, as was Sandra Dodd.

When Gillen started taking guitar he asked if we could eat at the expensive deli next door to his class. We agreed on this indulgence every six weeks. Today was deli day. He chose Scoops, the ice cream/candy store we hadn't tried, instead. A year ago I would have muttered something about having lunch first or dyes, so the yes would have been tainted.

This was a clear, colorful, bunny and Easter-Pez filled yes. Jesse had orange sherbet with sour dots mixed within, Gillen had strawberry ice cream with gummi bears and I had double chocolate chip. We sat at a booth and watched the rain through the window and talked about what Gillen is going to be practicing next on his guitar - "Ode to Joy" (he reads it as "Odie" to Joy. I so don't want to correct him).

The retro decorations brought back memories of bakery windows at Easter that I'd looked through as a child.

The "no" of the day concerns a cat. Our home has attracted yet another cat.

I was feeling so happy that Fracas is settling into a life without my bedroom in it - you see, here, that she still gets her own quilt covered arm chair in the closed-off art room. Tuki using her dog door was icing on the cake (pale yellow buttercream icing on easter cookies - I've got pastel sugars on the brain now). Then we heard it - a mewing from under the deck. Gillen investigated and found an unfixed male cat with no collar and a broken leg.

The "no" to keeping this cat involved discussion of what he would cost (organic food for all the animals; lots of cats at the farm already), how hard it might be for Tuki to stop chasing him up trees (which happened today, a very tall tree, despite "Cloud's" broken leg), and then there's the still-to-come Papa point of view. It was a no to more cats in our life right now but I did say yes to being responsible. We'll take it to Animal Control or the Rescue League tomorrow (so I guess the yes is still a possibility until then:)

The main objective in our life really has become yes. Even (pretty outrageous, I know) to myself! A few years ago, when my brother emailed about a ten-day job in Australia that I could do to make us lots of money, I immediately said yes. Last weekend, when a long-ago best friend Sally Solomon tracked me down despite my name change and told me about an upcoming school reunion with people I haven't seen in thirty years, my family saw the excitement in my face (these friends from Park School were some really great people) and made sure that I said "Yes". It is in Brookline, Mass. I am going to Montana later that month to see my sister who will have just had her first baby! I could so easily think about this being way too much indulgence, too much time for me. But they made me do it - I said '"yes".

8 comments:

Beachbum said...

Hope Cloud gets a good home soon. I so remember all the friends I helped out when I was a child...and all the 'no's it involved.

That ice cream shop looks divine!

Yes! It is awesome. I know you will have so much fun with those yeses you have said...and I can't wait to hear all the stories.

Hugs from the other side.

Madeline said...

Cloud seems to have found a home (we hope). We can't find him, even after having fed him.

I don't understand what you meant by your help involving "no"s and I'm curious. What did you mean?

persephone said...

I love your yeses

laura said...

i love that i have learned to say yes more, it does feel good. but there are still those nos that we must deal with. like the fact that it's been harder recovering from scotty's job loss back in november than we thought and the many nos that have krept back into our lives as a result. it's heartbreaking for me to watch all my yeses start to disappear. BUT, we talk with the kids about how these nos are different than our old nos and what that all means. it's awesome that they really seem to get it and appreciate our efforts to say yes even when it is harder now. and respect when we really do have to say no. i think this is born out of the respect they have been given and the time we put into saying yes before. it's all good!

Madeline said...

The financially induced "no"s are frustrating but also teach them (and us) about budgeting and about life. But really frustrating. It's been hard for us too when it has been about the money. It was that way for a long time. I know that we are so lucky to be doing better now, especially with the economy tumbling. I do regret that the "yes"es i talked about all involved having enough money.

~Abbiღ said...

I am also glad that you're exercising your "yes" power! The ice cream looks amazing too. Please tell Gillen good luck from me, when learning Ode to Joy!

My best wishes go with Cloud, too. If you don't end up keeping him, I hope he finds a good family. :)

Rue said...

While you're in a yes frame of mind, here's a question for you: Will you be coming to our house when you're in MA? We're not all that far from Brookline and we'd love to have you!

Madeline said...

Rue, I would love to say yes to that! But I won't have a car. If you're anywhere near public transportation, then yes. I'll email you.