The big picture

In this picture, from last night's dinner, I see Gillen and Jesse, really hungry, diving in to the pistachio parsley alfredo pasta and fried green tomatoes. I feel glad that they liked the new kind of pesto. I am aware that many people would see Jesse eating the fried tomato with his hands and see Gillen shoveling the pasta into his mouth. Nicolas has been known to be (a gentle version) of one of those people, especially when we are about to be with his family on vacation. We talk to the kids about others' expectations around table manners and about how they could be judged based on their table manners. Having been drilled unmercifully about table manners when I was young, I don't give a whole lot of feedback in this area. I'd rather talk about most anything else. But Nicolas is able to work it in once in a while and still preserve the peaceful meal.
In this picture, from an hour ago, I see a boy so excited to have his ATV working again. But most of my attention is on the frightening fact that there is no helmet. Nicolas sees a careful boy who knows not to go too fast with out a helmet. True. But my mother in law and I see the unexpected weeds and the glint in Gillen's eyes when he feels the motor revving up. Until we get the bigger helmet, later today, Gillen finally chose (it was that or not ride) to squeeze his valuable head into the small one. It is good that Nicolas and I see different bigger pictures and can help one another to look through each other's lens. It is especially good that we have gotten to a place where we can (usually) voice our fears and our perspective in a way that can be truly heard.
Later:
It is hot today. The red squished face in that helmet is also looking mad due to heat. He has decided that he is not so squished after all. He doesn't want to get the new helmet until we get back from our trip. We went out for ice cream after his guitar lesson (much closer) instead.