Saturday, June 14, 2008


I should be plugging away at the book, since I spent the past many hours hanging out with my kids instead of writing, but I am feeling sentimental and have to write a tribute to Jesse before I can go back to my story of the bees.

Eight years ago today, I was talking to my second babe, who was still in the womb. I was telling him that this might be a really good time to get this show started, to begin the moving and shaking that would commence his natural descent from my body into the world. As with his brother, I had reached that doctor deadline of two weeks past my due date the day before. I had a nurse-midwife and had thought that she would be more flexible. But instead, she scared me with her fear. She talked about the possibilities of there not being enough amniotic fluid and of all of the things that could go wrong should I choose to wait for contractions to begin. I agreed to allowing something to be placed near my cervix over night, to soften it. Nothing happened, other than some reactions of the staff to the funny heart rates Jesse showed on their monitors. I was bullied into another c-section. At least this one wasn't preceded by four days of labor. I set a precedent at the hospital by taking a stand about the nursing. I made them agree to holding Jesse next to me, allowing him to nurse while they sewed me up. My arms were pinned down so I couldn't touch him but it made such a big difference having those moments with him, feeling him successfully drink my milk, before being wheeled off to recovery, away from my baby for the next two hours.

This boy is uniquely wise. He is a story teller and game creator and a seeker of magic. He is passionate about what interests him and sensitive to others' needs. He is honest and thoughtful and curious.

I love you more and more Jesse. Happy Birthday.


Wendy said...

I'm so glad your baby made it safely into the world. But man, I wish you hadn't been put through that!!! And good for you for making your nursing stand. They took Shelby away and I didn't get to nurse her for several hours, plus they gave her an IV!! Argh!!! I understand the c-section feelings.

Much Love to you!!!

mindy said...

Happy Happy Birthday to Jesse!
Please give him a big collective hug from all of us. We love that very unique and special boy. I'm so glad he was born and that he is a part of our lives!

Kimba said...

Happy Birthday Jesse!

Angie said...

Good for you for standing up for yourself. I too was bullied into a c-section with my first daughter, but learned quickly to stand up for myself with the second and third.

This was such a great post - made me tear up. What a cutie!

Alecto said...

I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm glad you stood up for what you believed in. I think maybe we get braver as we get older, or have more babies or something. In any event, happy birthday to Jesse!

Madeline said...

Wendy, you went from a c-section to being a birthing expert? Cool.

I sent along the birthday wishes to Jesse. : )

Angie, you had successful vbacs? Good for you!

Alecto, I wish that I had been a bit older and wiser (though I really was plenty old) and maybe I would have had the courage to do it all at home.

Wendy said...

Thanks! I don't want women to have to go through what I did...I have mourned the loss of the birthing experience, and probably always will. To me just having a healthy baby isn't what makes a good birth. But the baby helps. :-)