Reinhabiting my shell

I have a pretty great family. They're funny, direct, creative, helpful and honest. I always come away from full family reunions a bit more self-aware (did I mention our honesty?), and grounded and happy for having laughed so much...and sick. When I am hosting, I always end up sick.

This year was going to be different. I was organized. I made lists of menus and decorating ideas and then willingly threw most of them out. I didn't do too much - well, there were the three parties to be hosted but I had help. I let my pregnant sister cook and clean for God's sake, a lot!

And still, I got sick. Annoyingly, lingeringly, still not over it sick. It started with a bad cold and then a feverish chilly flue and now it's a cough, rash, stomach ache and week-long head ache. In addition, over a week ago, with lots of possible good playing with Zoe days left, I broke my toe.

I have been feeling so pathetic, and insubstantial. I am ready to move back into this too skinny body and fill it up with passionate eating, with dancing and new art projects in our newly finished art room! I want to take long walks with the kids at our local nature center. Right now, I'd be thrilled with a walk around the neighborhood with Tuki. But instead, I will try to embrace this forced time of inactivity and just be still. Just be. Still, I sure do wish this all meant that I was due a rain check on Zoe time and that her parents had to bring her back sooner than later.